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“‘The order and good morals observed by our cigar makers in the workshops, and the enthusiasm for learning-are these not obvious proof that we are advancing?’” “ La Aurora, Friday, first of June, 1866,” he began. He cleared his throat as he raised the newspaper. Next to the silo, a ladder flanked the chair where Antonio, the lector, sat. A wooden silo at the center held its sun-dried leaves, darkened, papery slivers the rollers would carry to their stations.
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The factory wasn’t large, by Cuban standards: only a hundred or so workers, enough to roll for one plantation a mile away. María Isabel had by then breathed so much tobacco dust she developed regular nosebleeds, but the foreman didn’t permit workers to open the window slats more than a sliver-sunlight would dry the cigars. Rollers, allowed as many cigars as they liked, struck matches and took fat puffs with hands tented over flames. She placed the softened leaf on the layers that preceded it, the long veins in a pile beside. María Isabel ran her tongue along another leaf’s gummy underside, the earthy bitterness as familiar a taste by now as if it were born of her. These men of letters express a warm fondness for workers whose aspirations to such knowledge-science, literature, and moral principle-fuel Cuba’s progress.” “Gentlemen of the workshop,” he said, “we begin today with a letter of great import from the esteemed editors of La Aurora. The lector did the same from his platform over the workers, except in his hands he held not browned leaves but a folded newspaper.
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With the bracing candor, vulnerability, and power that have made her one of the most admired writers of her generation, Roxane explores what it means to learn to take care of yourself: how to feed your hungers for delicious and satisfying food, a smaller and safer body, and a body that can love and be loved-in a time when the bigger you are, the smaller your world becomes.At six thirty, when all the cigar rollers sat at their desks before their piles of leaves and the foreman rang the bell, María Isabel bent her head, traced a sign of the cross over her shoulders, and took the first leaf in her hands. In Hunger, she explores her past-including the devastating act of violence that acted as a turning point in her young life-and brings readers along on her journey to understand and ultimately save herself. As a woman who describes her own body as “wildly undisciplined,” Roxane understands the tension between desire and denial, between self-comfort and self-care. In her phenomenally popular essays and long-running Tumblr blog, Roxane Gay has written with intimacy and sensitivity about food and body, using her own emotional and psychological struggles as a means of exploring our shared anxieties over pleasure, consumption, appearance, and health.
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I was trapped in my body, one that I barely recognized or understood, but at least I was safe.” I tried to erase every memory of her, but she is still there, somewhere. I buried the girl I was because she ran into all kinds of trouble.
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“I ate and ate and ate in the hopes that if I made myself big, my body would be safe. From the New York Times bestselling author of Bad Feminist: a searingly honest memoir of food, weight, self-image, and learning how to feed your hunger while taking care of yourself.